I Guess We'll Just Have to Adjust
In the spirit of comedy, I took almost five months away from this blog just to see if anyone noticed. As expected, they did not.
In any case, there is a little bit to update. I wrote a new short called Love and Respect. Bonus points if you can figure out the inspiration from the title. If I ever get to make it, I plan for it to be pretty stylized and hopefully awesome.
Ah, there we are. Reread the last sentence of the previous paragraph again. If I ever get to make it. I've been, if not overcome, then certainly blindsided by a continuing comedy of errors.
The main concern has been entirely of my own doing, or at least is exclusively my problem. Aside from Love and Respect, I haven't done fuck all for months. I don't know why this has been a problem; traditionally, I tend to take on a lighter workload in the winter, for whatever reason, and get a lot accomplished in the spring and summer. Now, though... nothing. For months. (Well, as previously mentioned, there was something, but the point stands.)
Past that: still no actor for Transatlanticism. The storyboards have evidently disappeared from public view, as well. The camera front has been no better. I waffled on buying the Canon HV-10 because if was missing a few key features that I wanted, chief among them a 24fps speed setting. So what happens? They release a new model, the HV-20, that addresses every concern I have with the HV-10.
And then my source of funding runs out. So no buy camera for Full Contact Origami.
All of this has led to a monumentally crushing insecurity. I finally had to start doing stuff that normal people who don't have to work for themselves in their free time do for fun. It's interesting, I think. I bet it would be more fun without the god damn crushing weight of guilt that I should be doing something other than, say, playing Frisbee in the park or whatever. To alleviate the frustration, I've been rebuilding the Full Contact Origami site as a way to feel like I'm getting something done. It's been working so far, but now I'm almost finished, and when that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
It's all very annoying.
In any case, there is a little bit to update. I wrote a new short called Love and Respect. Bonus points if you can figure out the inspiration from the title. If I ever get to make it, I plan for it to be pretty stylized and hopefully awesome.
Ah, there we are. Reread the last sentence of the previous paragraph again. If I ever get to make it. I've been, if not overcome, then certainly blindsided by a continuing comedy of errors.
The main concern has been entirely of my own doing, or at least is exclusively my problem. Aside from Love and Respect, I haven't done fuck all for months. I don't know why this has been a problem; traditionally, I tend to take on a lighter workload in the winter, for whatever reason, and get a lot accomplished in the spring and summer. Now, though... nothing. For months. (Well, as previously mentioned, there was something, but the point stands.)
Past that: still no actor for Transatlanticism. The storyboards have evidently disappeared from public view, as well. The camera front has been no better. I waffled on buying the Canon HV-10 because if was missing a few key features that I wanted, chief among them a 24fps speed setting. So what happens? They release a new model, the HV-20, that addresses every concern I have with the HV-10.
And then my source of funding runs out. So no buy camera for Full Contact Origami.
All of this has led to a monumentally crushing insecurity. I finally had to start doing stuff that normal people who don't have to work for themselves in their free time do for fun. It's interesting, I think. I bet it would be more fun without the god damn crushing weight of guilt that I should be doing something other than, say, playing Frisbee in the park or whatever. To alleviate the frustration, I've been rebuilding the Full Contact Origami site as a way to feel like I'm getting something done. It's been working so far, but now I'm almost finished, and when that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
It's all very annoying.
posted by Jesse at 11:47 AM
3 Comments:
I can truely say I understand. I always have so much I want to do, and yet find myself not doing it. I'll even sit around thinking to myself how I SHOULD be doing it. I've been getting better at it, but I just don't know where all my motivation went. I decided to double major in English and ART...I know I know....but being forced to work on any art might make me get a move on the paintings being left in closets. Ive also decided to start an art club......where Ill have people over once weekly. Not only will it give me something to look forward to, its time set aside to work on stuff....maybe it's time you went back to school? Not because you have to, but because it will give you some sort of acomplishment, and possibly.....motivation?
lovelove
The fact that you're doing anything at all says a lot. Not to sound too Disco Bloodbath but look at all the "meaningless drones" of people who don't have a passion. At least you recognize yours and are doing the best you can with it. So you're sick of no motivation? Pretend you have brain cancer or something. It works for me sometimes...
don't mess with me: 'the gazing eye won't lie'.
like the other beauties said, at least you HAVE dreams and vision. the key is motivation. you are your own wall. funding: what are other people doing? contacts: where are they?
or maybe it is all a sign that you are talented but can't do it all. submit stories instead of scripts. can you post your writing/acting talent at local campuses? craigslist? maybe if you help others out on a few projects they can help you on yours.
i'm a really good cheerleader and a terrible student.
and i did notice you were absent, but knew you'd write when you were ready.
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